I wish I could just negotiate with the spiders in...
Me: Okay well I really hate killing you guys and I know that without you the world would be overrun with insects, so I love you and all, but I kind of really need to take a shower and I don't wanna drown you or have you panic and bite me.
Spider: No probs bro I'll just go hang around in that corner until you're done. By the way, your fan is getting really dirty, my cousin's been living in there and he's not so happy with the conditions.
Me: Oh that's okay I'll have it cleaned and just you can just tell him to move out until it's done.
Spider: Sure thing, man, I'll be over here until your shower's over.
me at restaurants: is there wi-fi
me at the mountains: is there wi-fi
me at the beach: is there wi-fi
me at family parties: is there wi-fi
me at school: is there wi-fi
me in hell: is there wi-fi
society: Everyone's beautiful.
society: Don't eat though, you don't want to get fat.
society: You don't eat? Anorexic freak!
society: You're a size 4? You're supposed to be a size 0!
society: You're an A cup? What are you, 8?
society: You're a C cup? That's my mums size.
society: You had sex?! Slut!
society: You haven't had sex? Hah, you're frigid!
society: You don't think you're pretty? Attention seeker!
society: You think you're pretty? Conceited much?
society: You believe in gay rights? Homo!
society: You don't believe in gay rights? Homophobic dickhead!
society: You're depressed? Attention seeker!
society: You cut yourself? Still attention seeking!
society: You can't go on? How much attention do you want?!
-someone kills themself-
society: Oh, they were so beautiful! Society sucks!